Is it possible to manifest the perfect relationship? I believe I have. It took me decades to figure it out, but now I am ridiculously happy in my sixth month of marriage to my best friend. I feel like every day we are growing together and becoming more aligned with each other and the future we want. We keep leveling up together and have a wonderful partnership. I know that this is something that countless people are hoping and praying for and so I want to share how it happened for me.
First, I spent a couple of decades learning through contrast what I did not want. It may not have taken so long had I had a better understanding of life and law back then, but I didn’t, and it did. Abraham Hicks teaches that the experiences we do not want create the contrast needed to discover what we really do want. I discovered a lot. Through the things that hurt me the most, I learned what was most important to me. I learned that respect, honesty, and stability were as important to me as love.
"Contrast serves as a catalyst for expansion. It helps you to refine and define your preferences, leading you to greater clarity about what you truly desire." ~Abraham Hicks
After I realized what it was that I did want, I had to really align with that. First, I had to accept that I deserved it; that I was worthy of it. We can’t receive what we aren’t open to and if we have thoughts that we don’t deserve happiness then we won’t be open to it. I did believe I deserved happiness, but at the same time, I held the limited belief that I just wouldn’t find it, that it wasn’t meant for me no matter how much I may deserve it. I had to let that belief go and be open to the goodness of life.
Once I realized that love and happiness was as much my birthright as anyone’s and opened myself to it, I also came to the realization that I hadn’t been providing it to myself. Why was I waiting for a man to love, cherish, and take care of me? I could do it myself! I took responsibility for my own happiness and started treating myself with the respect and honesty I wanted. I made creating stability in my life my priority. I had to embody these things myself before I could attract them to me through anyone else.
Entering into the kind of relationship that I wanted with myself made me become aware of the energy I had been projecting. I had been lonely, desperate, and willing to accept any attention that was directed at me because it took the edge off, so I did things to get attention that really weren’t aligned with what I wanted. Out of respect for myself, I re-examined who I wanted to be, how I wanted to see myself, and how I wanted others to see me. Then I had to make a commitment to showing up as that person.
The person I had been showing up as was not at all aligned with the kind of relationship I wanted, and I had to make adjustments before I could attract that relationship. I had to accept that I was worthy of the things that were most important to me in a relationship and then I had to embody those things. I had to become the person I wanted to be in my perfect relationship before I could expect a perfect partner. Once I did that it was impossible not to feel good about myself, set healthy boundaries, and attract exactly what I had always wanted in a husband.