Four years ago, it was not uncommon to find me laying in the fetal position on my floor, crying in pain and frustration. When I was 24, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. At that time, I had pain in the classic tender points that help to define the condition and unexplained, arthritis type pain in my arms, hands, legs and feet. As time went by the conditioned worsened, and by the time I was 34, there I could be found, curled up on the floor crying. My muscles hurt. My bones hurt. My skin hurt. Some days, I swear, every hair follicle hurt. Even the sound of my kids playing hurt. I had to constantly remind them to settle down and play quietly, and worst of all, not to touch me.
With as bad as the pain could be, what was even worse, was the feeling of hopelessness. I felt doomed to be in pain forever and miss out on the rest of my life. I was on a basket full of medication that were barely doing anything to improve my quality of life. I spent hours crying over things I thought I would never be able to do again or would never get to experience at all. I felt like my body was betraying me. I hated my body. I hated my life. I felt like I could never be a good mother or partner or even a worthwhile person because I was trapped in a body that hurt too much to use. I had suffered from depression as long as I could remember, but I always held out hope that the clouds would clear, and I would get through it. This was a new level of hopelessness for me.
Along with the pain and the hopelessness came anger. I was angry that after everything else I’d been through, God had chosen to give me this to deal with, too. I was angry at my ex for the possibility that the physical and emotional trauma of abuse may have triggered the disorder. I was also so angry with my body for ruining my life and with myself for not being able to push through the pain and live in spite of it.
When I wasn’t busy wallowing in all these bad feelings, I was usually in front of a computer screen. My laptop felt like the one place I could still just be me without my physical condition limiting me. I watched self-help videos and joined support groups. One thing had led to another and one day I stumbled upon an online Reiki course and I felt like it just called out to me. Laying of hands healing had always fascinated me and I had nothing to lose, but if it really worked, maybe it could help me feel better.
I took the course and was attuned to First Degree Reiki. During the 21-day cleanse after my first attunement, the physical symptoms began to let up a bit. A bit was more than I really expected, so I kept treating myself and learning as much as I could about Reiki and how to use it. Bit by bit over the next year, I kept getting better. One day I realized I hadn’t even taken a quarter of the Norco I’d been prescribed to get me through the month. I had stopped taking my anxiety and insomnia medications daily, also. Next, I was able to come off Lyrica. I was dropping off all the medications and not only was I still able to function, I was functioning and feeling better than I had in years.
Now, four years later, I don’t just have my life back. I have a whole new perspective and outlook on life. I’m happy and hopeful and l look forward to a future that I believe will be more wonderful than I could ever have imagined before. I now believe that stress is a leading factor in the manifestation of Fibromyalgia. Reiki is a deep relaxation technique and as I learned to relax and bring my body and mind back into balance my symptoms just became more and more manageable. I do still have days that my Fibro flares up and I experience some pain or discomfort. I’m thankful for those days, because they remind me to work on keeping my stress levels down and to take better care of my mental, emotional and physical health. A bad day or two now and then is enough to kick start me into better self-care with Reiki and other techniques I’ve learned along the way, leading me back to a state of health.
I thank Spirit for leading me to Reiki and Mikao Usui for developing the system of Reiki that I am privileged to practice and benefit from. I also thank my Reiki Master Instructor, Dave Scarborough for teaching me this modality that has so improved my life. I am grateful every day.
(Note: Although I was able to stop taking all of my daily medications after regular Reiki treatments, Reiki is not a substitute for medical care. You should never stop taking prescribed medication without consulting your doctor first.)